Current Political Humor

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Here are a few samples of humor I'm currently using.  This humor gets updated, so bookmark this page and check back frequently.  All humor is based on bad decisions people make.  I never use humor that is based on things people don't choose such as gender, ethnicity, sexuality, mental capacity, physical appearance, etc.

(updated 1/14/19)

 


  • The Department of Labor says the economy added 178,000 new jobs and the unemployment rate will remain low this year.  The same will not be true for the White House staff and Cabinet.
  • A Latino customer and his family walk into a bookstore and says, "Do you have President Trump's new book about illegal immigration?"  The bookstore owner says,  "You and our people get out and stay out!"  The customer says,  "Yes, that's it, do you have it in paperback?"
  • Indian nations around the country are upset that Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren is claiming to being a Native American because she took a DNA test and has 1/1,000% of Native American blood.   Sen. Warren does not care, she is leading the ME SIOUX moment on Captiol Hill.
  • Brett Kavanaugh is 53 years old which makes him the youngest person in that job. It is only one of two jobs in America where being 53 makes you the youngest person in that job.  The other is being a greeter at WalMart
  • Bob Woodward's book and the anonymous NY Times editorial have "Made Americans Read Again."
  • Did the Trump campaign coordinate or any way collude with Russia in the 2016 election?  No one knows for sure.  One thing we do know, Hillary's campaign did NOT coordinate or talk with anyone in Ohio, Pennsylvania or Wisconsin.
  • The Florida legislature has passed a law allowing school teachers to be armed, this includes Librarians.  Since the passage of that law, talking in school libraries has gone down 99%.
  • A woman was escorted out of the CPAC meeting for booing and harassing Donald Trump.  Melanie should really learn to take care of this things at home.
  • Effective 1/1/18, recreational Marijuana is now legal in California.  Previously, only medical Marijuana was available.  It is amazing that on News Years Day, millions of cases of insomnia, nausea and other maladies in California were cured.
  • Hillary Clinton's book is titled, "What happened."  That is the censored version of the title.  
  • Before he married Michelle, Barack Obama proposed to a former girlfriend who turned him down.  She did not think he had a promising future career.  She was correct, right now Obama is in his mid 50s and unemployed guy.
  • All of Donald Trump's wives are immigrants to this country, which proves there are some jobs that Americans simply won't do.
  • One of the 17 Republican candidates running for President was former FL Governor Jeb Bush.  His father was President and his brother was President.  So, Jeb Bush running for President is the Bush family version of no child left behind.
  • It will be a few years before the Barack Obama Library and Museum will be built to celebrate Obama's Presidential achievements.  Until then, we'll have to rely on MSNBC.
  • The White House Chief Usher said he is sorry Hillary did not win the Presidency, saying "If she and Bill had moved back in, maybe they would have returned the furniture they took with them when they moved out."
“Your wonderful combination of content and humor entertained, informed and empowered my members, thanks.”  
Jan Hartman, National Assn. of Insurance and Financial Advisors, PA